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“Walter Johnson”
Jonathan Richman

I’m a gonna tell you if you don’t know…
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About a great ball player from a long time ago.
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A hero to me; I ain’t puttin’ you on, son.
I now tell the story of baseball’s Walter Johnson.

All through baseball he was loved and respected.
Was there bitterness in Walter Johnson?
Well, it was never detected.

When pitchers throw their pitch to scare…
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They’ll almost hit that opposing player, whoa…
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Walter Johnson wouldn’t do that, not even just a little.
He kept that baseball right down the middle.

And all through baseball he was loved and respected.
Was there bitterness in Walter Johnson?
Well, it was never detected.

Well, when the Washington nine was a-gwyne to win…
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Walter would ease up a little on the opposition.
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The other teammates, they just didn’t get it.
They said, “Hey there, Walter, how come you let him hit it?”
Walter told them with his gentle smile.
Said, “Boys, this game’s no fun if you don’t get a hit once in a while.”

And all through baseball he was loved and respected.
Was there bitterness in Walter Johnson?
Well, it was never detected.

Well, a record’s just a record in a book that’s just a book.
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Walter Johnson never gave the opposing team so much as a dirty look.
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And a season’s just a season in a game that’s just a game.
And Walter Johnson cared about people more than he cared about fame.

So, all through baseball he was loved and respected.
Was there bitterness in Walter Johnson?
Well, it was never detected.